Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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