I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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