Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
