im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
