Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize