I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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