He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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