That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
