AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
