so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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