we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She's the barista slut.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
