I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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