Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
