that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
