I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize