You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
