...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
