Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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