The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I party with great urgency now.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
