the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
