I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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