That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
