she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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