he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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