I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
