it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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