I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
