You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize