we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
