Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
being pregnant is like rehab
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
