I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
