i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Randomize
