Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
someone owes me an orgasm
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
