I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We left the knife in your bed.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
