Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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