I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
