I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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