"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
