I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
