Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
