Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
