Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
