I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
