i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
