guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
