i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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