best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
