She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
