just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
They are going to name an STD after you.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
