i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
