I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
