I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
