? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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