oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
