He told me they were just razor bumps!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
