I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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