She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
