This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
