First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
