He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
They have beer where we have blood.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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