Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
