Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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