she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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