what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
