He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize