i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
