Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
