i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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