we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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