I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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