well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
